Talking to the kids about the family money is often a conversation that gets “kicked down the road” until it is too late.
Left unaddressed, these “pending conversations” result in increasing dissonance in family relationships.
Get the conversations started with your next generation by exploring possibilities as a way to hear their perspective and generate ideas you may not have considered.
Questions such as:
- “What do you see is the purpose of our family wealth and how could it possibly be used by the family?”
- “What possibilities do you see for your own life or your children’s lives?”
- “What are the possible ways you could be better prepared to manage wealth?”
- “Do you see possibilities that would allow you to be a contribution to the family wealth?”
Exploring possibilities creates a mood of curiosity and openness that sets a productive tone for the conversation.
It also keeps the conversation focused on the present and the future as opposed to the past. Perhaps most importantly, it is a safe way for you to hear your next generation’s perspectives.
Family Money: The Little Questions
Once those questions are answered and the conversations are consistent, consider asking the little questions.
For example, a son took over the family business and committed to supporting his sister and his father’s dream of growing the business.
We were brought in to establish a unified vision that would allow the siblings to experience success.
We noticed the sister was getting increasingly frustrated as her brother explained the distribution path in a family meeting.
We asked a little question: “How do you learn most effectively?” She replied: “I’m a visual learner.”
We then asked her brother to draw a diagram of the money flow through the business, family office, and then each person.
The sister could then see the thinking behind the decisions. She started attending quarterly meetings and began experimenting with her own investments.
The simple little question (how do you learn?) allowed the siblings to become partners in the use and purpose of the family wealth and increased their mother’s confidence that her son and daughter would find their way together to manage the family wealth.
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